The soft light of Irene Loling Sarabia Lampe

As many of us have experienced, or are presently experiencing, it is not easy watching our parents get older.  It’s not easy for them either.  Remembering my weaving teacher, Jennie Thlunaut’s words back in 1985 when she was 95:  “…don’t get too old!  Don’t get too old!”  As she was trying to get up off the couch, “You cannot get up,…or walk anymore!”  As she looked out at all of her students her thick glasses made her look like an owl:  “…you cannot see anymore…!”  She struggled with her false teeth flapping in her mouth:  “…you cannot even talk anymore…!”

Two nights ago my sister and I were in sitting with our mother, Irene Loling Sarabia Lampe.  At one point, Mom said the same thing as Jennie.  She also said she is getting tired of living and just wants to go now.  We don’t blame her.  Since our father passed in December 2008, our mother has sorely missed him; this of course, has made her living a little bit less palatable.  They were married almost 54 years.

My mother was the youngest in her family.  After the passing of her brother Robert Sarabia and her sister Sue Belarde over 10 years ago, she remarked that she was the only one left in her family; she felt very alone.   Yet, just a year before the passing of our father, my parents got to experience the birth of their first great-grandchild, Elizabeth Deanna Hope.  Then 6 months later, they met their 2nd grand-daughter, Violet Sol Hudson.  I hadn’t seen that kind of happiness since my own children were born.  My mother will meet the next grand-daughter, Amelie Soleil Haas next month as she will be here for a two-week visit with her parents.  We look forward to the celebration.

My Mamma naps and dreams of another time and place where she is no longer slow, bent and in pain

Out of the sky blue, my mother asked me when I’m going to cut my hair.  I told her “after you are gone..”  She curtly replies “Why are you going to wait until AFTER I am gone!?  I want to see it now!  I want to see all the curls you once had when you were a little babe…!”